There are 4 castles in Stelcoaryn. Two are normal, one is evil, one is cursed.

They all actually look mostly identical, legend has it that the early settlers were bargained into buying 4 castles for the price of 2, on the condition that the castle plans were all the same.

Bloomey Castle, the largest of the four, is the most normal I would say.

There are 4 castles in Stelcoaryn. Two are normal, one is evil, one is cursed.

They all actually look mostly identical, legend has it that the early settlers were bargained into buying 4 castles for the price of 2, on the condition that the castle plans were all the same.

Bloomey Castle, the largest of the four, is the most normal I would say. It has a moat, watch tower, straw beds, and adequate quarters for the staff. The queen is pretty strange but we won’t go into that exactly now. Not now. Later. It’s been painted a few times and it smells of paint, but I don’t mind it. I actually enjoy that. It suits me fine. I think it's really good for me.

They say it got it’s name from the Stelcoarynian word “þlƿmmy”, which means “mist”.

They don’t actually say that, sorry.

Some other rumours seem to suggest it used to be a cheese mill. That’s actually true. Sorry for lying about that other thing.

Stiklow Castle is probably the most “evil” of the 4. Actually I’m not sure if it’s an official castle as it doesn’t have a keep, or a keep keeper. It’s constructed entirely from obsidian, which is a kind of glass formed from lava that has hardened and cooled. There is no visible entrance to the castle, in fact there doesn’t seem to be any way of getting in or out. Some people down at the Stelcoaryn Inn have claimed they’ve been in there, but how? One old bloke I was talking to was trying to tell me he had a job as a tour guide there. He said there’s an enormous wind that’s currently blowing everything, all this way and that. Goats and whatnot?!? What? Did he mean “ghosts”? Actually why am I even listening to the people down at the inn? They’re all cooked. In any case, it is evil, but that’s okay. No-one can get in, and no-one can get out. So that’s okay, right? It’s fine. It’ll be alright.

The legendary “Barwll Bawch” shrine stood at the main entrance of the third castle, my personal favourite, pleasantly named the “Filly Folly Castle”. FUN!

The building was once used for travelling coaches and open air organ festivals. In fact the big old organ is still in the great hall, presumably absolutely caked with dust. And party cake. It’s an absolute party castle. “Barwll Bawch” is this legendary semi-immortal tree giant that used to protect Stelcoaryn. They say he fell in love with a half woman/half seal creature who in turn loved him dearly. However there was a particular… act of intimacy shall we say that had an allergic and detrimental effect on his semi-immortality. It was a shame, as he only had 2 hours left until he would have reached full immortality. He wasn’t a very good guard. He still haunts Stelcoaryn occasionally, you might see him out and about, floating around.

And the final castle, the cursed one. Called “Castle Nochysdenane”. It used to be known as “Hawdenane”, which translates to “uncursable castle”. The story of the curse is pretty vague and honestly I’m getting so bored with telling this story, so instead I’d like to draw your attention to some of these little ditties that some of the so-called “songmeisters” sing down at the inn. I think they’re pretty good songs but you definitely need the lyric sheets in front of you while you listen. The musicians hand them out before they sing the songs. Problem is, Stelcoarynians are a bunch of messy slobs and they just use them as napkins. But if you want my advice, definitely read them. You won’t mind it. You'll actually enjoy that. It suits you fine. I think it's really good for you.

One of the early things we did was an EP called "Children of the Sun: A Collection of Cartoon cover theme songs". ("Children of the Sun" was a reference to the great cartoon "Mysterious Cities of Gold"). And we did another one a few years later.

So this time around, we thought it might be fun to try putting together some original cartoon ideas.

One of the early things we did was an EP called "Children of the Sun: A Collection of Cartoon cover theme songs". ("Children of the Sun" was a reference to the great cartoon "Mysterious Cities of Gold"). And we did another one a few years later.

So this time around, we thought it might be fun to try putting together some original cartoon ideas. And we also thought it would be cool if they were all set in an alternate timeline in which all cartoons were duck-related.
Mr. Salt created Truck the Duck, a fun-loving icecream selling duck who eats pea-flavoured icecream and turns into a superhero. Then there's Quackbeard, an adventure-seeking pirate Duck on the search for treasure and peas. (Ducks frickin love peas). And Dr. Mallard, a jaded and sarcastic therapist to the stars. "For Those that are Invested in the Ongoings of the Pond" is a cartoon that only lasted a few episodes before being cancelled for being too weird and disturbing. And finally, there's the music for the moderately successful "Uncle Aqua" game that came out in the mid-90's.

The pieces are all short, but it's still surprisingly a lot of work because of all the creation of sonic palettes, mixing/mastering.. all of these tasks still require the same amount of energy and care as "full" songs.

I have a lot of respect and admiration for cartoon music composers. One of my musical heroes Andy Sturmer from a 90's band called Jellyfish abandoned the conventional music scene altogether to pursue a full-time gig writing cartoon music.